There comes a time in every proud pirate parent’s life when they must let their little scallywags fly free!
With a single swift kick from the crow’s nest, these pirate progenitors send their grungy little gromets flying into the unknown in order to show them that they can pillage on their own!
If they survive the fall, they’ll definitely leave, and if not……well, still one less toothless mouth to feed!
So it was with some of our longest standing/sailing pirate generals, who have moved on to bluer oceanic pastures, in order to found their own little pirate clans! All operating in different areas of the blackheartiest and most turbulent waters known to man…….tourism.
Which really just leaves us with one question………
How would you like to take Amsterdam?*
*other than “by storm.” Only assholes hope for wet weather.**
BY LAND!
Amsterdam Bike Pirates
(Bike tours)
Enough time at sea, and a man will drown in the deep blue of the endless sky. It’s fathomless depths spanning from horizon to horizon until one cannot be sure where the sea ends and the sky begins. It is in moments like this that a pirate must look to land to seek their fortune. Sure, the sky is just as endless from horizon to horizon on land here in The Netherlands, but the cows make it pretty obvious what is sky and what is land, so it’s waaaaaay, or at least maaaarginally, less insanity-inducing.
Join the Bike Pirates as they raid the villages and scope out the surprisingly stunning not-so-natural-nature in the below-sea-level farmland in Amsterdam Noord (north), across the river IJ.
PREPARE TO BE NOORDED!
BY SEA!
Those Dam Boat Guys
(Boat tours)
I mean. What more do you want to know? You clearly have made it to this page because you already love Those Dam Boat Guys! They, aka we, are delightful!
Just book tickets already. Don’t make us beg. We won’t beg. We can’t beg. We never learned how to beg. Must have been sick that day in school.
Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase don’t make us beg!
Also by land!
Hit The Bricks
(Walking tours)
Loathe as we are to admit it, there are just some places that boats cannot go. Lord knows it hasn’t stopped us from trying, but after so many (completely unnecessary) deaths, and millions in damages both emotional and otherwise, it’s time we give up our foolish dreams and lace up our boots! We tried, and that’s what’s important.
Hit the Bricks is dedicated to taking your Amsterdam know-how to the next level. What kind of bricks are those? Red. What kind of water is that? Wet. Woah! These guys know it all!
**That’s right — we’re not afraid to say it — plants are assholes.